Comments on Arbit-raag: Prologue: The Storm Within

P.S- You know who I am :)Poster of the abve commen...

2009-03-17T01:04:00.000+05:30

P.S- You know who I am :)
Poster of the abve comment.

Umm...honestly, very ordinary. The character doesn...

2009-03-17T01:02:00.000+05:30

Umm...honestly, very ordinary. The character doesn't retain interest.I fail to understand why would someone want to read about a character like that? I think no matter what we say, we all want to read/see a character who has something exceptional to offer. I do hope the character will emerge rather than follow the same lines as in your initial posts. Besides a few grammatical errors, the use of 'long' words seems forced and manufactured rather than natural (I am not a fan of floral language!).
I also noticed a few striking contrasts in the flow... the character is considering suicide, even if just for a moment. Some one in such a state of mind wouldn't think about the neighbour's daughter's attitude.
I personally think, you need to add depth to the character rather than dimension.
I could go on forever, but I guess I have said enough.
I am sorry if you felt I was blunt, but you asked for my opinion and I warned you about it :) Good luck.

Good read, generated a lot of curiosity. Will turn...

2009-03-09T19:33:00.000+05:30

Good read, generated a lot of curiosity. Will turn up for more. Keep up your good work.

Nice prologue, will stay tuned for more!!!

2009-03-08T23:34:00.000+05:30

Nice prologue, will stay tuned for more!!!

Seems like the ramblings of a troubled soul... who...

2009-03-08T21:56:00.000+05:30

Seems like the ramblings of a troubled soul... who might have led a worthless but interesting life.. :)

Keep posting.. !

interesting read....looking forward for more!!Happ...

2009-03-08T10:45:00.000+05:30

interesting read....
looking forward for more!!
Happy writing :)

Most importantly... u've managed to build up curio...

2009-03-06T17:15:00.000+05:30

Most importantly... u've managed to build up curiosity!

Interesting read, will be back for next. :)

2009-03-06T09:10:00.000+05:30

Interesting read, will be back for next. :)

^^^^deja vu ? :p :D

2009-03-06T03:41:00.000+05:30

^^^^

deja vu ? :p :D

Ah. Dark,sombre and depressing. Just the sort of s...

2009-03-06T03:05:00.000+05:30

Ah. Dark,sombre and depressing. Just the sort of stuff to be reading at 3AM ;)

@all: thanks..@anhad..let's see usmein kya develop...

2009-03-05T18:33:00.000+05:30

@all: thanks..
@anhad..let's see usmein kya development hoti hai
@AFC: yup..i suppose it's going to be a dark one..
@B'bai: it was intwntional..someone is troubled, then the mind tends to lose focus..that's what i intended.hopefully, i succeeded.

hmm...well...its an interesting prologue and I loo...

2009-03-05T18:09:00.000+05:30

hmm...well...its an interesting prologue and I look forward to the next part...style: you seem to follow the "back and forth" approach which works but is a bit "bloggy". But i get the realistic feel the wondering mind, some random thoughts, dont know if it was intended but I definitely find the furtive glances of the mind from the feeling of a troubled life , to the nosy neighbour and to the ultimate thought of death and its finality.
argghh.. I am over analysing guess I relate to the protagonist already...lemme know when u come up with the next part

Nice...really nice for a prologueI liked that "15 ...

2009-03-05T14:22:00.000+05:30

Nice...really nice for a prologue
I liked that "15 stories down....." part
quite interesting......would b bak to see how things turn up...

intriguing read.. keep it rolling with the same in...

2009-03-05T12:25:00.000+05:30

intriguing read.. keep it rolling with the same intensity!

Hmm....as I had thought, it's a very dark prologue...

2009-03-05T10:13:00.000+05:30

Hmm....as I had thought, it's a very dark prologue to, I guess, an even darker novella. But hell yeah, it seems mightily interesting. I especially liked the rainbow analogy and the two sides of the rain.

An awesome beginning, hope for more. I'll be following this closely.

Interesting stuff! It kinda reminds me of the Link...

2009-03-05T04:34:00.000+05:30

Interesting stuff! It kinda reminds me of the Linkin Park number, "One step closer"... :)

Keep it up, and I'll be back for more...